An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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