have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize