At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
