Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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