I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
