everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
