i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
