She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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