i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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