I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize