We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
