Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes