Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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  (763): that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her! http://tfl.nu/ypk8
  Replies (48) Good night (4776) Bad night (657)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes. For all mankind please do.

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  (512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly
  Replies (49) Good night (4945) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?

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  (612): When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder? http://tfl.nu/3y9l
  Replies (16) Good night (3667) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it because I queefed?

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  (610): Is it because I queefed? http://tfl.nu/rxys
  Replies (54) Good night (1004) Bad night (6188)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

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  (256): you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!" http://tfl.nu/8xfk
  Replies (11) Good night (13596) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism

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  (443): yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism http://tfl.nu/7zps
  Replies (8) Good night (4396) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...

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  (909): I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"... http://tfl.nu/z8ro
  Replies (19) Good night (3390) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (1010) Bad night (1803)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.

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  (305): It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/6i5r
  Replies (4) Good night (496) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family

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  (413): Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker" (1-413): I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family http://tfl.nu/b85j
  Replies (7) Good night (2348) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear

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  (215): I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear http://tfl.nu/l6yx
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.

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  (732): How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity. http://tfl.nu/tije
  Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.

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  (315): Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men. http://tfl.nu/0oi0
  Replies (6) Good night (622) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I think your dad took our porno

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  (573): I think your dad took our porno http://tfl.nu/zawe
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water

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  (330): ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water http://tfl.nu/dbl8
  Replies (0) Good night (585) Bad night (321)

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