Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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