Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The feeling are messing with the penis
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.