Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Well... I doubt that.

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  (859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them. (1-859): Well... I doubt that. http://tfl.nu/5uw1
  Replies (25) Good night (1559) Bad night (876)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.

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  (630): Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song. http://tfl.nu/ltnq
  Replies (47) Good night (1080) Bad night (5202)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.

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  (612): Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy. http://tfl.nu/a2lr
  Replies (72) Good night (1218) Bad night (4686)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?

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  (219): talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high? http://tfl.nu/47rp
  Replies (18) Good night (5078) Bad night (729)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

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  (847): We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate. http://tfl.nu/z0ff
  Replies (10) Good night (8993) Bad night (1148)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...

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  (865): His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation... http://tfl.nu/uas5
  Replies (24) Good night (4687) Bad night (1642)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.

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  (315): I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions. http://tfl.nu/ogn1
  Replies (3) Good night (2779) Bad night (1055)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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  (778): Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck? (604): And your cock privileges have been revoked. http://tfl.nu/u4qr
  Replies (10) Good night (1279) Bad night (1850)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you are graduating this semester.

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  (484): my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete. (215): so you are graduating this semester. http://tfl.nu/j7mj
  Replies (3) Good night (1469) Bad night (630)
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  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

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  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (2051) Bad night (880)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

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  (724): On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone? http://tfl.nu/9ka9
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (354)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!

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  (908): When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?! http://tfl.nu/arig
  Replies (3) Good night (1510) Bad night (406)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!

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  (705): It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet. (705): Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go! http://tfl.nu/wqgq
  Replies (0) Good night (951) Bad night (339)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

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  (585): I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME http://tfl.nu/jac1
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (436)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.

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  (435): It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart. http://tfl.nu/un8o
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (213)

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