My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize