you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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