last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Found the puke drawer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
