the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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