I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
