I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
