dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
