Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
