Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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