The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
