Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
