the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
