watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
