this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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