It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My balls are so social today.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
