I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
