hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
