just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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