We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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