Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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