i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
