It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
