Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize