And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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