I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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