Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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