Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
