I need help removing her.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
