Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
40s are totally the cure
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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