There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
