either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
