it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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