Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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