people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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