She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
