I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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