think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
