Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Holy shit dude........stairs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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