Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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