We named our party play list daddy issues
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
