You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize