so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
