so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
