We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
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the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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