I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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