so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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