Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
