why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
did i walk over a car last night?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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