Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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