you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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