Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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