I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
