Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
another moral hangover. fuck.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
