i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
did i just pee glitter
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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