we have pet lesbian snakes
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
