How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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