Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just want to make out with him forever
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
