i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize