My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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