i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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